Over the past ten years, I’ve gotten a good idea of how Christians across the globe feel about disagreement among the Body of Christ. I think the bulk of these perspectives can be summed up in three conversations I had last month.
Perspective 1: Be United on the Big Things
A man in China and I are discussing the recent decision of the Meserete Kristos Church conference withdrawing from hosting the world assembly for the Mennonite World Conference in 2028 after a series of threats and misinformation largely stemming from LGBTQ+ affirming Mennonite churches in the States. The man I’m talking to utters a refrain I’ve heard from dozens of pastors and Christian leaders: It’s okay if we as Christians disagree on small things, but we need to stay united on big things. This sounds great in principle. The inevitable next question, however, has to be, What do we consider to be small things and what do we consider to be big things?
This is where agreeing to disagree gets tricky. The man I’m chatting with tells me that the Church can disagree on small things like baptism, sacraments, and Biblical interpretation, but should remain united on big things like sex and gender. When I ask him how he determines baptism to be a minor doctrinal difference (a famously important doctrine for Anabaptists who were martyred for asserting that adults, not infants, needed to be baptized) and something like sexual ethics to be a major doctrinal difference, he quips that sexual identity is a new disagreement while baptism is an old disagreement.
For Anabaptists living 500 years ago, Baptism was a major doctrinal difference. Similarly, a childhood friend of mine agreed to marry her then-boyfriend several years ago, only after he conceded against his childhood denomination that baptism was essential for salvation. In this instance, both my childhood friend and the man in China could agree on a traditional view of human sexuality, but they would potentially disagree on the doctrine of baptism. For the man in China, this disagreement would be easy to sweep under the rug. For my friend, this disagreement would be a fundamental difference in how she understands herself to be a Christian.
Being united on the big things is great when we can do it, but it presupposes we agree on what a big thing is. What do we do if we disagree on whether something is big or small?
Perspective 2: Don’t Disagree
I pose a question in December whether Turning Point USA’s decision to retaliate in the face of persecution in Oklahoma is Biblically appropriate and a pastor shares his concern with me privately that homing in on divisions threatens the unity of the Church. He’s not alone in this concern. As I wrote in 2023, my then pastor essentially said from the pulpit that disagreements were welcomed so long as dissenters were willing to admit they were disagreeing with God. In both instances, the crux of this pastoral guidance is simply to not disagree, either because you’d be going against God, or because you’d be sewing division. I agree with my 2023 self who wrote, Dissent is holy and underutilized work.
I completely understand, particularly in our divisive and hurtful culture, the temptation to run from disagreements. Despite this understanding, I don’t think it’s Biblical to have off-limit topics among the people of God. What I find inspiring about the Early Church, what I hope we can get back to somehow in our increasingly individualized world, is their commitment to do life together, not just on Sundays or Wednesdays, but always. I love how the Early Church pooled resources and spent non-religious time together. I don’t know how we can be faithful to an ideal of the early church in which any topic is off-limits.
Perspective 3: Learn from Those We Disagree With
I’m standing and talking to a worship leader in a church lobby when she asks how we navigate disagreements on a particular topic. I advise her to pray about it. She counters that it’s wise to listen to others, even those we disagree with.
Like the first perspective, I mostly agree with this. However, there are some stances in which listening is not only potentially giving the Devil a foothold, you’re also encouraging someone to argue a point that you know is not true. For example, historically, I’ve tried to have open dialogue with Christian Nationalists that worshiping our country is idolatry, and I’ve begun to suspect that allowing them a platform to work out their ideas has actually steeped them further into their false beliefs, eventually convincing themselves that worshipping presidents and prioritizing human nations is more Biblical than following Christ.
What do we do in these cases, where our convictions preclude us from entertaining obviously demonic spirits?
There are a few Biblical truths that I think can help us understand how to navigate and integrate these perspectives.
First, 1 Corinthians reminds us that all of us have different functions in the Body of Christ:
Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot would say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear would say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.
1 Corinthians 12:14-18 NRSVue
If we all have different jobs, different gifts, and different callings, I think it’s only fair to expect that we would have different perspectives. After all, the ear faces a different direction than the eye. Disagreement isn’t inherently divisional, it’s natural.
Second, we need to exercise constant humility when dealing with our perspectives of God. As the prophet Isaiah reminds us:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.Isaiah 55:8-9 NRSVue
Although we are equipped with the Spirit who helps us discern God’s wisdom, we as humans on this side of heaven will never entirely reach the height or depth of God’s wisdom. When we can hold our opinions of God and God’s truth loosely, we open ourselves up to discuss and disagree with one another humbly.
Finally, we can call out false teaching while also remembering our own baptisms which have delivered us into mercy from our ignorance.
But the aim of such instruction is love that comes from a pure heart, a good conscience, and sincere faith. Some people have deviated from these and turned to meaningless talk, desiring to be teachers of the law without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make assertions. Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it legitimately; this means understanding that the law is laid down not for the righteous but for the lawless and disobedient, for the godless and sinful, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their father or mother, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who engage in illicit sex, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching that conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God, with which I was entrusted. I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because he considered me faithful and appointed me to his service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and a man of violence. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. ‘
1 Timothy 1:5-14 NRSVue
When we meditate on the mercy we’ve received for our own ignorance, I believe it becomes harder to call false, misguided or malicious, teachers names alongside calling out their false teachings. In other words, we can disagree with and oppose their teaching without denigrating their personhood, image-baring, or spirituality. As such, we don’t need to call one another idiots or heretics when we run out of arguments.
What happens when we disagree? I think we walk into disagreements in community, with humility, and as repentant sinners. Is this easy? No. But for a world obsessed with disagreements, mic drops, and “gotcha” moments, I think it’s important Christians disagree with one another publicly and privately, demonstrating for an unbelieving world, the Godly way to disagree.
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Bryce Van Vleet is the #1 selling author of Tired Pages and Before We All Die Let’s Have One Last Chat by the Fireside. He sells poetry art here, published a collection of poems titled Weak Eyes, and masquerades as the spoken word artist Liihey. You can support him by clicking through blog posts or donating (scroll to the bottom of the page).
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