To the three of you who have bought into my facade and think me a saint, I have bad news for you: I stared down a smirking red-headed woman yesterday, left foot on the brake, right foot hovering inches above the gas pedal. Unhinged anger shot from head and barreled down to ankle threatening to seize it into a flattened position. But before I can tell you that story, I need to tell you this story.

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