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A few months ago, I’m on the phone with a pastor who asks why I don’t tell my unmarried friends who sleep together that they are living in sin. A few weeks after that, a totally disconnected woman asks me the same thing and I’m forced to wonder if this is a conviction of sorts.
I do wonder if I do a good enough job converting others to the Jesus way. I have a lot of nonbelievers reach out to me to offer their stories, ask questions, seek prayer and guidance. But my offers for us to attend church together, to go to a young adult’s Bingo night, to be baptized, are met with polite declines. I struggle then, being lectured in lobbies and living rooms, by people claiming to be wiser than me, if I’m truly letting God down, or if the Enemy is coming though friends’ mouths to prey on my insecurities.
When we, as Believers, encounter a voice whose message we cannot ascertain is from God or the Devil, we can use Scriptures and conversation with the Spirit to help us arrive at the truth, to discern the true source of the words we hear. Through these methods, I’ve tired to answer the question, for myself as much as for anyone else, how do we convict others?
Start With Jesus
Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. ‘
Romans 5:1-2 NRSVue
Throughout Church history, there has been a debate about whether salvation comes through works or through faith. Jesus seems to say that faith is paramount over works in John 3:16 when he says that whoever believes in him shall be saved for eternal life. Paul, throughout the book of Romans reaffirms this, particularly as the Early Church navigates how Jews and Gentiles fit into the newly revealed Gospel. It is my conviction, then, that faith in Jesus brings salvation, regardless of whether our works are righteous or not (which is good news for those of us who know we are sinners).
At the same time, we can also make the mistake of thinking that works do not matter, that faith in Jesus is a sort of get out of jail free card. On the contrary, James reminds us throughout his book that faith without works is dead. Jesus himself mentions that Christians who profess his name but behave lawlessly are not known by God. In other words, good works can be produced by those without faith and faith can be professed without works, but the true Children of God flow their good works out of faith and, inspired by their faith, produce good works.
When we try to convict and convert people through behavior modification alone, we save no one and we deceive ourselves and them that good behavior leads to salvation. If I tell an atheist they are living in sin, what good does that do them? At best, they might change their behavior, but still live without faith in Christ. At worst, the Devil will seize upon their shame and drive a deeper wedge between their soul and Christ. We cannot pretend to save people by shaming them. We can only invite sinners to come to know Jesus and trust that the Holy Spirit, in that knowledge, will produce behavior changes over time as they grow in maturity in Christ.
The Order of Repentance
In my digital ministry, I’ve noticed that Christians love to quote John 8:11 when someone pushes back on them calling someone a sinner. John 8 begins with Jesus coming upon a crowd of people angry with a woman who has committed adultery. They ask Jesus if they should stone her as punishment for her sin. Jesus calls the behavior sin, but then insists that the first person to stone her should be the one without sin. The crowd dissipates and Jesus asks the woman if anyone condemned her to which she says no. Jesus then tells her to go and sin no more.
The first problem with relying on this verse for how we approach conviction is that it might not have originally been included in the text. If this verse was as central to the gospel as many Christians in the US claim it is, one would think it would have been included in the most ancient of texts.
Beyond that, leading with this verse is also problematic. Jesus’ instruction to stop sinning comes after his failure to condemn her. If Jesus wanted us to go around the world judging non-believers and pointing out their sins to them, I think he would start this interaction by praising, not critiquing, the crowd for their wisdom in identifying the adulterous woman’s sin. Instead, he sidesteps their direct question by acknowledging the sin, but inviting condemnation only from those who have never sinned. If the threshold to condemn someone was not met in front of the living, breathing Jesus, I doubt (with love) that any of us have met it two thousand years later.
Identifying sin is important. Repentance is important. I’m always confused when people accuse me of gleefully accepting or ignoring sin. That’s not what this post is about. As Peter instructs the first converts in Acts 2:27, Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ so that you sins may be forgiven, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. (NRSVue). Repentance comes for the first converts to the Jesus way, but only after they’ve been cut to the heart by the truth of Jesus’ resurrection. We don’t start with repentance, we start with being affected by truth. By all means, help people in your life avoid sin and repent of it. But don’t start at the end of the story and think you’re telling the same story Jesus did.
Offer an Invitation to a Better Way
Effective conviction of my own behavior has come as an invitation towards something rather than away from something. When Jesus meets with the Samaritan woman in John 4 he rightly accuses her of living in sexual sin. But, again, he doesn’t start with her sin. He starts first by just meeting with her, by seeing her as a person instead of her worldly identity, which the society that Jesus is in loves to critique and ostracize. Then, he invites her to drink from a well after which she will never thirst again. Finally, he names her sin and invites her into repentance.
Jesus isn’t calling on us to fix the world’s sin. He’s already done that. Rather, he’s calling us into relationship with sinners, to point them towards their savior Jesus, and to gently encourage them to turn towards the everlasting and, in doing so, turn away from the paths that lead us to death.
Conviction is an important part of the gospel process. Repentance matters. Sin and hell are real. But we’re never going to convince a broken world that it is broken, before showing them what a world unbroken looks like.
To return to the earlier question posed to me by faith leaders in my communities, do I tell my unmarried friends who live together that they are sinners who are going to burn in hell? I don’t. The way in which I read the Scriptures encourages me to stand firm in my convictions that sex in the context of marriage is much better and healthier than sex outside of marriage. I’m encouraged to share my experiences loving and being loved by Jesus. I’m encouraged to pray for the salvation of my friends and be ready to take their confession of faith when the Spirit moves them into it. Until then, I’m convinced that sharing the gospel looks like seeing them as people, dropping my stones, and being an example of following Jesus the best way I can.
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Bryce Van Vleet is the #1 selling author of Tired Pages and Before We All Die Let’s Have One Last Chat by the Fireside. He sells poetry art here, published a collection of poems titled Weak Eyes, and masquerades as the spoken word artist Liihey. You can support him by clicking through blog posts or donating (scroll to the bottom of the page).
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