In 2018, I started this blog on the Seattle Pacific University campus. In the 8 years I’ve been writing, I haven’t had a year like 2025. Personally, I watched as family members and friends suffered through mysterious illnesses and in my writing ministry, I faced pushback with intensity and cruelty I haven’t faced before and from people close to me, not simply strangers and acquaintances. When I was a young kid growing up in an evangelical context, I, like most of us, grew up dreaming of martyrdom. In those imaginations, I never dreamed the weapons would be held by Christians I grew up with and/or loved fiercely.
While I’m grateful for the many conversations and conversions that have happened in the last 8 years, I’ll admit that the last year has taken its toll on my mental and spiritual health. As I’ve had increased time and mental space to process on my winter break away from my day job as a college professor, I’ve begun to realize just how burnt out and wounded I am.
A few months ago, I published a post about hearing the LORD say to me that we weren’t done yet. As I’ve discerned whether the pushback from those around me was an iron-sharpening-iron invitation to repent and step back, or the Devil working through the mouths of those around me, I couldn’t get the idea of “not being done yet” out of my mind. I concluded, after asking for tangible examples of people’s critiques, and them coming up empty or apologetic, that the Devil has been launching a spiritual intensive against me, backhandedly encouraging me to keep going.
I’ve also come to worry and wonder that my time in ministry, at least in this context, may be on the precipice of ending. One day, if the LORD’s promises never fail (which I believe they don’t), I’ll be married. A major focus and theme of the people attacking me in the past year has focused on me being inherently sinful and sexually immoral, despite my celibacy and singleness. I am curious to know what ministry looks like for me in a married context, when, even in celibate singleness, who I am is inherently offensive to people whom I have done deep, personal life with.
I don’t know what my future, or the future of this blog, looks like beyond 2026, but I do know that I have made a promise to God to keep writing for one more year. In order to manage this year in a spiritually and emotionally healthy way, I’ll be taking January 1st-January 31st off from public-facing social media as well as limiting my engagement with religious spaces. There’s simply too much noise around me. After taking time to pray and discern a path forward, I’ve decided to pursue my mystic tradition and increase the amount of silence around me for the month of January. I would be grateful for any prayer partners willing to cover me in prayer during January.
In the meantime, you can expect to see my first four Not Done Yet reflections posted on this blog, my Facebook, and/or my Instagram. In our first month together, we’ll be exploring Biblical (not cultural) revival, Christian disagreement, digital evangelism, and why I’m considering not voting in the 2026 midterms (or maybe ever again).
I’m grateful for all of you who have joined me over the past 8 years. I don’t know what the future holds but I do know this: We’re not done yet.
Living Beyond 
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